Came over to grab stuffs and going out to meet you but time haven't reach so I went to your room and saw the book i made for your 21st birthday makes my tears fall unexpectedly. I remembered that one time we quarrel and we were gonna break up. You tore the book into two.  Aftermath you sent me home still, talk things out and we got back together. I even fixed the book back as the book was those 'bind' kind . But the damage you gave will never be erased. So heartbroken to remind that the book was once torn before and it's in front of me.  Seeing those pages fall off, I thought my hard work is gone. But to my surprise, it can be fixed but the pages is no longer straight anymore.  If we could go back to the past, the past that I just know you, that would be great . If I could forget those incident you caused, j could be a lot happier, why does I even hold it .  Why why why . 

During the past weekends, it's quite a memorable one . Though we quarrels, you threw my stuffs, accidentally hit until me and I slapped you . Sorry for what I have done. This stay cation makes me and us feel better. It's like making two person who's gonna fall off the edge be together back and strengthen it . Okay I have to admit that I hate staying over at your place, because everytime we will quarrel without fail, but this staycation was awesome. I love you,ckc

Do you still remember the first day we met? Last year, somewhere in August? Still remember i went to meet C and you were with her as you're C's boyfriend's friend . I was not wearing any heels and  we didn't talk ? I think that you're cute .  The very next week , we went to club again, this time round we dance together , having an awkward partying together. LOLOL . It was quite fun and awkward. That day, you took my number and I saw a cab and immediately ran to the cab as it raining. Stupidly you ran behind me, I was so shocked that you're behind me. Despite me for asking you not to send me home, he send me home. Ended up, he put up a strong front  sent me to the lift and C called , telling me that he was drunk and vomit at my house downstairs. I was so panic that I went down to look for you. From then onwards we kept going club every Friday .  Those movie dates we watched conjuring and insidious, it was so scary that I want you to hug me but I don't dare to mention it . We share your pouch to cover our eyes. Haha, it was funny that I kept on disturbing you.  

On 14 sept 2013, I went Fuzhou for school attachment program. I missed you. It's like I keep on finding wifi just to whatsapp you and wanted to Skype with you every night. We did Skype . One of the day, you even skype with me in club . LOLOL it was so ridiculous .  Everytime I went shopping, my mind was thinking all about you . Should I buy this for you ? Should I buy that for you ?  When I came back, I passed you every stuff I bought. You was so surprised that you got so many gifts.  11 October  we club  after you sent me home and you text me if I want to be together with you . I was over the moon, all emotion was all over the place . But I need to tell G first.  So I let you wait  for half a day. I even met Y to tell her , what should i do .  

I really miss us . What happen to those happy days of us ? Why things has to be like this? I wish I had let you wait for me and I could at least understand you better before we get together. Your temper is so bad, violent and stuffs.  I don't get it why, we met in club yet can't club anymore. Sometimes I just feel like giving up everything . What's left is memories, quarrels, normal talks, no longer those teasing each other, everything just got serious . Sharing things to friends, there's a limit for it . 

I'm tired really. I will break free one day .  I just need a place to pour my things out, which is here.   If you think of memories more than present now, it means it's over . Xoxo,

Sometimes having too much of control of someone and thinking that's the best for that person ? You're wrong, you're trying to drift that person even further.
You think controlling of one's dressing would actually protect her? Actually no . You think that don't let me go club, I will quit club ? No, it actually makes me want to go even more.  I'm actually getting more and more tired each day .  Tired of loving , tired of explaining , I need a break from this place , this relationship .  Questions kept popping out from my head :

What if we are still friends?
What if we didn't start ?
What will we be ?
Will it be better like this ? 

Being together with you is what I wanted, but I didn't expect there's so much controlling and quarrels .

Yes, you have your good side too . But your bad side overwhelm it .  I won't forget that  thing . Till now I still can't . 

Tough times doesn't last .

Hi I am back once again, have quitted blog for 2 years and I am back again with a brand new blog. Why do i create blog again? There is many thoughts that i could not express through my mouth, could not think of a place to vent my anger. I am motivate by a shirt of some random people on street, quite ridiculous though but which makes me start to think... TOUGH TIMES DOESN'T LAST.

Have you ever lost someone?
Have you ever thinks that you are lonely?
Have you ever think of giving up yourself?

Even though you lost someone important in your life, life still goes on no matter what. You may suffer now but it's a short period. Have you ever think of there is still much more people had suffer much more than we guys. It's too foolish to die/sacrified for people who don't love you anymore. We should live much more happier than them as to show that we could still survive without them.

Heartbreaks over heartbreaks, what do I get for almost-gave-you-a-chance? Do you even deserve it? Why this relationships for 2 years plus could ended like this. Do you still remember how we met? Do you remember all those silly things we do? Times flies, we quarrelled, we separated, we cried. Have you forget everything we did? I can't believe just because of J's text you changed, it's just an excuses. This time, i will forget you and lead my life. I think I am still quite lucky to have my brothers around me. Though they gave up on me, I've regret not listening to them. Why i would be so dumb to reply your text on that day and delete what cheetong helped me typed. Was half drunk on that day, speaks all rubbish out. I'm sorry, especially to CT & XZ. What i speak haven't gone through my mind on that day,wasnt thinking of anything but to get back with him.

I'm sorry. And yes, i say i won't use any guys to forget him , i meant it really.